Englishmen don't dive.

After the brouhaha surrounding Eduardo's "dive" in the Champions League game between Arsenal and Celtic a few weeks back, John Terry, captain of England and Chelsea, has come out and said that English players are too honest to dive. He appears to be entirely serious too. Perhaps someone should tell him to do a search on "Gerrard dive", "Rooney dive" or even "Cole dive" on youtube. Yep, diving is definitely something that the English lads don't do...

This is also worth your time - Arseblog's response to Terry's ludicrous remarks:

I read this before going to bed last night and, being somewhat in my cups, subjected poor Mrs Blogs to a rather lengthy, and I'm sure tedious, rant about what a humungous, plague-carrying cuntmongrel John Terry is. I spelled out, using the most wicked men in the history of the world, how he soared above all of them, his iniquitous existence a blight on the human race, a stain on us all. I used hand gestures, pie charts, graphs, Powerpoint presentations, empirical research and much more to prove, once and for all, that John Terry is the biggest cunt in the world.

"But why?", said Mrs Blogs.

I sighed.

"Because he's a cunt", I said.

How can he say something like that with a straight face? He plays in various teams with the likes of Michael Owen, Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard and Joe Cole and he says English players are too honest to dive? He plays with Didier Drogba, has played with him for years and years, yet he still thinks it's ok to talk about diving?

That's like being a mafia henchman and castigating those who go around garotting people and stabbing folk in the throat before shooting them in the head, wrapping them up in plastic, weighing them down and dumping the body at sea.

England play Croatia on Wednesday and apologies to any patriotic Englishmen who want to see their national team do well but I hope Eduardo scores a hat-trick, nutmegging Terry for each goal (one of which will see him go around the keeper, stop the ball on the line, then kneel down and head it in off the ground), before an outrageous Terry dive to try and win a penalty for England explodes both his knees and brings about a grave, and hugely debilitating, case of sudden onset polio and a dose of consumption while he's at it.

I couldn't agree more. Come on Croatia!