The More kJ Diet

I've been feeling a little bit rubbish since about last December, coinciding almost exactly with the time that I snapped my collarbone like a twig. It hasn't been anything too major, just a little bit of listlessness and a feeling of weakness when I exert myself. So I went and got a blood test a week or so ago, and the news was not good. Nothing is wrong. At all. This is not particularly helpful - I don't want to hear that I'm healthy and everything is within normal ranges, I want answers. So the doctor basically shrugged his shoulders and went "I dunno. Good luck with that."
So in order to deal with the situation I have formulated what I call the "More kJ Diet", which basically entails me eating more food. Some may call this simplistic, but I would call it elegant. More importantly, what it lacks in complexity, it appears to be making up for by actually working. If you wish to try the More kJ Diet I suggest learning the following phrases: "Are you going to finish that?", "Is there any more?", "Where the fuck did you asshats hide the bread?" and most importantly "Om nom nom nom".

On that note, I think I'll have a snack.